Blah.......

Yeah, I know, real original title, huh? That's just how I feel at the moment. I fell asleep for a little bit on the couch this afternoon and woke up with the absolute worst headache. That happens everytime I fall asleep on the couch...hmm, maybe the powers that be are trying to tell me that it's not necessary for me to put my fat ass in my ass groove and take a 40 minute nap when I haven't been doing anything all day! But my head is hurting me horrendously. I just want to go to bed and wake up in another day/time when I don't have a bitch of a headache.

And I guess I'm feeling rather sorry for myself at the moment too. Since Dave left, I've been really good with my emotions. I haven't cried at all since the day he left. Now, some might say that's probably not the best way to deal with things, but hey, this is me, the master hider of emotions. Plus, with school, I just don't have any time to just feel sad. But yesterday was my last day of school before Thanksgiving break and I don't go back til Monday. So I guess I have some time on my hands, and I just feel blah. I miss Dave terribly. I haven't talked to him since Sunday, and it's almost Thursday. I haven't gotten an email from him since Monday, and it's almost Thursday. I know he's not in a horrendously dangerous area, but he's still "over there" So, when I don't hear from him, I worry.

Then I start missing him when I see all these families out at the grocery store, shopping for their Thanksgiving dinner, I get mad, too. I want my husband to be here for Thanksgiving. I want us all to sit at the table, and do our dorky, but traditional, "I'm thankful for...." thing. But it'll just be me & the girls tomorrow. I love my children, so it's not like it's horrible, but Dave's seat will be empty. As it will at Christmas dinner at my mom's. It sucks that I live so far away from any family, too. I want to be like my sister, and just be able to hop in the car, and go to my Aunt's for dinner and see everybody. I miss my family and I miss my husband.

But then again, I feel like I really have no right to complain. 3-4 months is MUCH better than the year most Army wives have to put up with in terms of deployments. And he's on a secure base, so I know he's relatively safe. But I hate that he had to go, I hate that he had to go and be gone for both Turkey Day & Christmas. We've never spent either of those holidays apart, in the 11½ years we've been married.

And, I'm pms-ing so I'm sure that's why I'm feeling so damn sorry for myself these last few days. I did make some chocolate chip cookies and mailed them to Dave. I also bought a fake little 32 in. Xmas tree for him to put in his room, so he wouldn't feel too lonely. Knowing that that will make him happy makes me happier.

Anyway, I just took a nice slug of NyQuil, so my eyelids are drooping and I'm about ready pass out at the 'puter. So I'm off to bed.